"One time when I was really sick, I shit myself in the bed. I thought it was only going to be a fart, but got more than I expected."
"My boyfriend and I once did it at the top of a big ferris wheel."
"When I was four, my best friend and I dragged her little sister into the bathroom and shoved her diaper full of leftover chopped liver."
"I got busted for shoplifting when I was 19, while my mom was in the hospital. I was in the store with my dad and he is the only one who knows it happened, I never told anyone else. I stole 2 Revlon lipsticks at Fedco. What a fuckin moron. Luckily it put an end to my little career as a thief because I was so mortified to be caught doing something so lame while my mother was in the hospital. My dad never told her either. Probably the coolest thing he's ever done for me."